MOTHERS OF MULTIPLES: Extra support for mom

Local group offers advice and relief

Heather Bracamontes sits on her friend Danielle Ball's living room floor, her 8-month-old twin sons asleep in her arms. She dare not move too much or one will wake up. And when one is awake, the other isn't far behind.

Moments after the babies are asleep, Ball's 6-year-old twin sons tear through the living room. They see the sleeping infants and take off in another direction.

Bracamontes and Ball are members of the Las Vegas chapter of Mothers of Multiples, a national organization for parents of multiple children including twins, triplets and quadruplets.

"Being pregnant was a surprise. Being pregnant with twins was an even bigger surprise," said Bracamontes, also the mother of a 6-year-old daughter. "I believe having twins first is better than having twins second. If you learn to do it together, it's easier."

Bracamontes' doctor notified her about her double delivery when she was 10 weeks into her pregnancy. A friend referred her to Mothers of Multiples. Many pregnant women seek the club's assistance. Bringing one child into the world is scary enough, let alone two, Bracamontes said.

Many multiple babies are taken to the neonatal intensive care unit once they're born, because their weight is lower than single births and often the births have complications.

"It helps you, the parent," said Bracamontes, a Summerlin resident. "It helps you while you're pregnant. You can talk to someone who has had the complications or known someone who has."

"By the time it's happening to their own child, it's not as alarming," Ball said.

Once Liam and Joaquin Bracamontes arrived, their mother was in need of even more advice.

"It's good to have somebody, just to know it has happened," Bracamontes said.

Besides medical advice, the organization's members provide each other with the everyday help it takes to raise multiple babies. Ball says she thinks caring for two at a time is more difficult than parents of single babies perceive.

"It's quadruple the time. It's not like it's twice the diapers. It's four times the diapers," said Bracamontes, laughing. "I don't think past tomorrow, are you kidding? I'm praying for kindergarten and hope it's full day by then."

"There's more laundry, less sleep for you, less sleep for the babies," said Ball, a Henderson resident. "More trips to the doctor because they pass colds back and forth. You just don't get the down time you would get. With twins, you have to be up doing laundry or scrubbing stuff."

"The decibel level in the house does go up," Bracamontes added.

Kyra Bracamontes, 6, has had trouble getting used to her new environment and new baby brothers. Parents need to make sure the single children in the family are still paid attention once the multiples arrive, which is more difficult than it seems, Ball said.

"She told me that if the house burned down I would get them out and not her," Bracamontes said of Kyra.

The challenges parents of multiples face don't get easier as they get older, they just change, Ball said.

"It's different. Physically it gets easier because they'll play together," said Ball, who also has a 2-year-old son. "You get outnumbered. You have to really be strong with the boundary thing."

Commonly, children with identical or fraternal siblings are packaged with their brothers and sisters. Ball's sons are known as the "boy twins" in their kindergarten class. Even though they look alike, or were born on the same day, children should be treated as individuals, a practice they encourage in the group, said Ball, a Henderson resident.

Owen and Gavin Ball love to play together, but they wish they could be separate as well. The boys often color coordinate their outfits, but seldom dress alike by choice, Ball said.

"I kind of wish me and Gavin could be in a different class," Owen said. "My teacher doesn't use our names."

"Even at this age, I don't dress these two alike very often because of that," Bracamontes said. "It's mean to make them dress alike and assume they like the same thing. It's not a package. There are two packages, not one."

Besides advice on child rearing, Mothers of Multiples makes sure parents get out of the house and away from their children once in a while. Moms-only and adults-only activities are planned throughout the year, along with playgroups and family events.

"It's been a lifesaver for me," Ball said. "You learn to stop and take a breath. It's OK to have a mom's day out. For me, I don't have sisters, so it's as close as I've got. It's a cool extra family."

Monthly general meetings bring parents and professionals together to talk about parenting techniques and tricks.

The Las Vegas chapter of Mothers of Multiples, a national organization, meets on the third Tuesday of each month at 7:30 p.m. at Nevada Power, 6226 W. Sahara Ave. Those interested can call 223-0266.


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