Tips from an insider

Waiter/author tells the whole story in 'Fine Dining Madness'

GV/AN/VIEW--Waiter John Calloway talks about his new book 'Fine Dining Madness'. Friday, April 8,2005--View photo by shelly donahue

Exile is the first word in John Galloway's new book, "Fine Dining Madness," because, according to the author, it describes how people end up in the restaurant industry.

"People don't aspire to be food servers and bartenders," he said. "For them, there was a bump in the road."

A waiter for the last two decades, Galloway has worked at Ruth's Chris Steak House on Paradise Road for five years.

The Henderson resident does not recommend his line of work, nor does he endorse someone owning their own restaurant, unless they hate themselves.

"Don't do it full-time, but Ruth's Chris has been phenomenal," he said. "I'm in a good spot. I'm restless but not too restless."

Galloway came up with the idea for "Fine Dining Madness" after an interview with Redbook magazine in which he was asked to identify how customers should and shouldn't behave when dining out.

"The ideal reader is anybody who dines out at least two times a month," he said. "It's everything a customer needs to know."

Galloway offers 50 rules restaurant patrons should abide by to get the best possible service. Suggestions range from how to get the best table to knowing exactly what you want to drink so as not to waste time.

"Six deep in the bar, reservations are behind and you're sputtering for two minutes," he said. "The bartender could do a million things during this time.

"Don't say, 'Bring me a glass of merlot wine.' We know it's wine."

With creatively titled chapters including "Return from Stalingrad, Chefs and Insanity" and "Never Say Busboy Again," Galloway said he's happy to speak up for waiters who deal with customers' "subliminal insanity," such as eating three bites of a five-pound lobster and throwing the rest away.

Galloway also designed the book jacket for "Fine Dining Madness," featuring glamour and wine bottles on the front cover and fish carcasses on the back. He said this symbolizes the restaurant industry from the inside out.

Galloway clues readers in to the five worst things a patron can do in a restaurant, while offering direct advice, including "Don't be a bread bastard" and "Leave the cell phone in the car."

"The dreaded cell phone," he said. "It's a good thing murder isn't a misdemeanor."

Galloway said positive restaurant experiences are all about being respectful.

"Any customer who threatens a waiter about decaf does not get decaf," he said. "Work on your approach."

A Purdue University graduate from Indianapolis, Galloway has been in the restaurant business since age 14. Besides writing, his other love is flying. A certified flight instructor, he hopes to be in the air full-time by 2007.

"Writing and flying, two very expensive mistresses," he said.

"Fine Dining Madness," released earlier this month, can be purchased at www.iuniverse.com and Barnes & Noble bookstores.