Handbook provides a course in pirate hunting

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Avast, ye scurvy dogs!

Ye think yer up for capturin' pirates, do ye? Maybe ye wants to sail on a ship, find some adventure and keep a pirate's booty fer yer own.

Ye should know it ain't gonna be easy, matey. It's harrrrd work, and ye'll need to start out at the bottom. Ask yer Ma or Pa for "The Pirateology Handbook: A Course in Pirate Hunting" by Captain William Lubber (edited by Dugald A. Steer and Clint Twist) and learn what ye need to know.

When it comes to pirate hunters, nobody starts at the top. You'll need to join the crew as cabin boy. Cabin boys have certain responsibilities, one of which is to learn the parts of the ship. If the captain says to jump in the jolly boat and follow the schooner, you'll look silly if you don't know what he's saying.

Pretty soon, you'll rise in the ranks, and if you're lucky, you can become a seaman. As a seaman, you'll have to know how to do lots of jobs on the ship, and you'll have to know how to identify the flags of other vessels. That way, if there's danger, you can warn your captain straight away.

And then -- congratulations! - if you're a good seaman, you'll soon be promoted to bo'sun. It's important as bo'sun to know how to navigate and where the ports are because the captain will rely on you to get your ship where it needs to be. The other good thing about promotions is that you'll get a better hammock and maybe better rations to eat.

If you've done your job as pirate hunter, your captain can recommend you for your very own ship. Imagine being captain and chasing pirates around the Caribbean and south of Africa. Think about how much money you'll make as you capture pirate treasure and break secret codes.

As you learn to be a pirate hunter, Captain Lubber tells a few cautionary tales of pirates caught and escaped, and he gives you a history of piracy on the high seas. Isn't pirate capturing aaaarrrrrrgggggreat way to make a living?

Does your child long for adventure on the high seas? Is he never without his eye patch, his parrot and his sword? Then "The Pirateology Handbook" is one more thing he'll want to carry around this summer.

This clever book -- part of Candlewick Press' "Ology" series -- is set up as if it were a manual, complete with certificates, stickers, activities to do "while off watch" and stories of real pirates.

What struck me as interesting is that, with words like "intemperate" and "modicum" on the first page and more "big" words inside, "The Pirateology Handbook" asks kids to stretch their vocabularies without preaching. As the weeks between school semesters pass, this is a good thing.

So, mateys, get your pirate hunter this handy book. "The Pirateology Handbook" is a treasure that should never be buried.

Terri Schlichenmeyer's book reviews appear weekly in the View. She can be reached by e-mail at bookwormsez@gmail.com.